You know you are addicted to the Internet when...
>
>You kiss your girlfriend's home page.
>
>Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
>
>Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
>
>All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster
>connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.
>
>And even your night dreams are in HTML.
>
>You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like
>you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
>
>You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
>
>You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au
>
>Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a
>new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never
>had heart problems before.
>
>You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved
>and you don't have a clue when it happened.
>
>You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear
>if new e-mail arrives.
>
>Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of
>what she looks like.
>
>All of your friends have an @ in their names.
>
>When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all
>of them are already highlighted in purple.
>
>Your dog has its own home page.
>
>You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
>
>You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it
>again.
>
>Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
>
>You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
>
>You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends,
>because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
>
>Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.
>
>You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check
>your e-mail on the way back to bed.
>
>You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's
>got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
>
>You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
>
>Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."
>
>You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape
?.01or higher."
>
>You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your
>ISP...because you never log off.
>
>The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.
>
>You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in
>front of your computer with a toilet.
>
>Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy
>another computer and install a second phone line so the two of
>you can chat.
>
>As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road,
>your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
>